Bleach Interviews: Gotei 13 Captains
by Bwghissailova
Summary: This is my first story, Bleach Interviews on captains. ITs basically IChigo running around the Sereitei asking the captains questions from a paper made by Uryu...


So... This is my first story, so please go easy on me! Basiclly it's Uryu gives Ichigo a paper to interview th captains because Uryu dosent want to himself.

Rating: K+

Characters: Ichigo, Uryu, (Basically all the captains of the GOtei 130), Isane, Nemu, Rukia, Sentaro, Kiyone and Yachiru

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Bleach Shinigami Interviews! Hosted by: Ichigo Kurossaki

Ichigo: Er…erm…today we will be interviewing the Gotei 13 Captains…uh… lets… look! There! Captain Yamamoto of Squad 1!

Ichigo: OLD MAN! Wait!

Yamamoto: Hmm?

Ichigo: I'm here to interview you for these humans reading the article, -he coughed- when I don't want to… and here is my first question: Are you the eldest captain in the soul society?

Yamamoto: ….

Ichigo: Well…are you?

Yamamoto: -snore snore snore-…

Ichigo: Uh..never mind…..

Ichigo: Ok that was not very successful… lets go look at Captain Soi Fon! Shes the Captain of the 2nd Squad!

Ichigo: HEY!

Soi Fon: Huh?

Ichigo: -pant- I am here to interview you –pant- on…

Soi Fon: I'm busy –interrupts-

Ichigo: At least answer this question please…?

Soi Fon: This is a waste of my time….

Ichigo: Ok, why do you hate your vice-captain Omaeda?

Soi Fon: Because he is a stupid, selfish pig that is cowardly and weak!

Ichigo: Have you….-reads from a paper that wasn't even made by him- ever had any lesbian feelings …. –reads continuously and gulps- for yoturichi…?

Soi Fon: -snatches the paper and reads it- did you write that?

Ichigo: No! I don't even know who wrote that!

Uryu: -hiding someplace- heh heh…

Soi Fon: Then why does it say your name right up here? –points to a spot on the paper-

Ichigo: BUT I DIDN'T….. –starts sprinting away-

Ichigo: I didn't write those…. –he takes out an extra- at least I have an extra.. maybe I should read what else 'somebody' wrote….

Unohana: Hello there Kurosaki.

Ichigo: Perfect timing! –he turned around- Hello Captain Unohana of the 4th squad, may I interview you with a few questions?

Unohana: Of course, you may start

Ichigo: Uhm, ok… -reads the paper- Is it true that you are the best healer in the Sereitei?

Unohana: I guess so

Ichigo: Are you very intimidating?

Unohana: -frowns- Is that an insult?

Ichigo: No! It's not!

Unohana: Isane, please take him someplace else, I need to get some paperwork done

Isane: Yes Captain!

Ichigo: At least I was able to get a few questions down… who's next I wonder… -gulp- O.O ….Byakuya Kuchki….. Captain of the 6th…Division…..

Ichigo: YO! Byakuya! Hey! I wanna ask you something!

Byakuya: Please use the proper suffix when you call my name, Kurosaki…

Ichigo: Are you Rukia's dad? Or her brother? -he reads off the paper- ….what kind of question is that…..?

Uryu: -comes from some kind of bubble on Ichigo's head- I get confused, please answer the question!

Byakuya: She is my sister, as I am her brother –he replied, calmly with infinite dignity-

Ichigo: Does Senbonzakura cut your hair for you?

Byakuya: ….

Ichigo: -skips to the next one- Do you have a short temper?

Byakuya: …

Ichigo: Are you shy or quiet…?

Byakuya: …..

Ichigo: Do you like Yoturichi's prescence?

Byakuya: Don't mention that woman's name in front of me….

Ichigo: Are you always this formal? Dosent it get tiring and annoying? –reads off paper and instantly regrets what he just read-

Byakuya: Scatter, Senbonzakura.

Ichigo: SH*******TTTT!

Ichigo: -all banged up and torn- lets see….. –about to faint- who's next…. Captain Komamura of the 7th Division, this shouldn't be so bad….

Ichigo: Captain Komamura! I ….

Komamura: Yes?

Ichigo: May I ask you a few questions?

Komamura: Of course, what do you want to ask?

Ichigo: What specific "species" are you?

Komamura: -he was offended- …..

Ichigo: Are you a dog?

Komamura: …..

Ichigo: Erm…. Are you familiar with any famous figures in the human world?

Komamura: Yes

Ichigo: Who?

Komamura: I've heard of a Balto, such an amazing feat of a heroic dog!

Ichigo: Right….

Ichigo: Looks like that was done OK… Next would be Shunsui Kyoraku, Captain of the 8th Division…..

Ichigo: Hello Captain Kyoraku, I'm here to…..

Shunsui: aarreee you nnnanaooo-chaaaann? –slurs lazily, holding a sake bottle-

Ichigo: No…. –in his head- I don't think this is a good time to interview him….

Shunsui: You look torn up, wanna join me? I have extra bottles….!

Ichigo: No thanks, I don't drink….

Shunusi: -shoves some carelessly in Ichigo's face- are yew shoooore?

Ichigo: -pushes the botthe away irritatingly- Yes I am sure!

Shunsui: Positiffffeee?

Ichigo: Yes now get out of my face, I'll die of suffocation due to that breath of yours!

Shunsui: This is a very good brand….!

Ichigo: STOP!

Ichigo: -all sweaty- finally, I could get away…. Now who's next…. Toshiro Hitsugaya of Squad 10, hey its the little kid!

Ichigo: Captain Hitsugaya! Can I ask you a few questions?

Toshiro: Why?

Ichigo: Because I have to interview all the captains here!

Toshiro: Why?

Ichigo: -he was suddenly struck- I have no idea…

Toshiro: Ok then leave me alone

Ichigo: Wait! Just a few questions!

Toshiro: Fine….. what?

Ichigo: Do you… -reads off of paper- enjoy being small?

Toshiro: ….. –gets mad-

Ichigo: Can your zanpaktou make snow cones if you could? With flavor?

Toshiro: …. –gets more mad as he crosses his arms-

Ichigo: Did you dye your hair white?

Toshiro: …

Ichigo: Are you happy of all the men envying you?

Toshiro: …envying me of what?

Ichigo: Rangiku Matsumoto…..

Toshiro: What?

Ichigo: Do you like apple juice?

Toshiro: -explodes- STOP ASKING ME THESE STUPID QUESTIONS!

Ichigo: OK OK OK OK OK!

Ichigo: Only a few more left to go… lets see who's next… Kenpatchi Zaraki… of Squad 11, wait….. KENPATCHI ZARAKI?

Kenpatchi: Yeah? –is nearby and hears Ichigo shouting out his name-

Ichigo: -trembles- C-c-c-c-can I a-a-ask you some…..questions…?

Yachiru: -pops out of nowhere- Do you have candy?

Kenpatchi: If it is where our next fight would be, sure, I have a place we can try out!

Ichigo: That's not what I meant….. it's about you…

Yachiru: WHAT ABOUT ME?

Ichigo: Uhh…

Kenpatchi: why don't we just skip the questions and head on off to the battle field eh?

Yachiru: YAY!

Ichigo: Sorry I'm too busy! -runs off-

Ichigo: O-k lets see who's next on the list….Captain Kurotsuchi of Squad 12, ok…

Ichigo: Captain Kurotsuchi! Can I ask you a few questions?

Mayuri: Yes yes hurry, unless you would like to be my guinea pig, I wont take my time

Ichigo: Ok ok! Anyways…. –reads off paper- The Quincy still thinks he can beat you….. –in his head- wtf?

Mayuri: …. Anything else?

Ichigo: Do you ever used or tortured human's for your lab research?

Mayuri: Torture? I only used Hollows!

Ichigo: …. Are your healing abilities always so censored? Don't you mind it being aired on TV?

Mayuri: …. I don't know what you are talking about, farewell!

Ichigo: No, wait!

Nemu: -suddenly appears using shunpo and stops Ichigo by getting in front of him- Captain Kurotsuchi is busy, if you have any further questions can wait for later.

Ichigo: But… -thinks better of it- ok…later…

Ichigo: One more captain to go….. Ukitake Jushiro.. Captain of the 13th Division… hey, isn't he Rukia's Captain?

Ichigo: Captain Ukitake! Can I ask you a few questions?

Ukitake: Yes of course, what is it that you need?

Ichigo: It's an interview, here's the first question: What is your sickness?

Ukitake: Tuberculosis…..

Ichigo: Who is your current choice of the new 13th squad leutenaint?

Ukitake: That's classified, anything else?

Ichigo: Yeah, um, do you drink as much as Kyoraku?

Ukitake: That's _Captain_ Kyoraku and no.

Ichigo: Were you always this nice? –reads off paper-

Ukitake: Huh…? Oh well…..

Ichigo: One more….hey…are you ok..?

Ukitake: I'm fine… don't need to worry….about….m…. –faints-

Kyone: GAH! Captain Ukitake!

Sentaro: What happened?

Ichigo: Uhhh I have nothing to do with this! –quietly sneaks away-

Rukia: -Ichigo bumps into her- Ichigo what are you doing here?

Ichigo: Uhhh… -spots Kyone and Sentaro running towards him- gotta run, bye!

Shinigami Illustrated Picture Book:…. -Kon flying with rainbows-

Nel: ITSUY-GOO! –flies into him-

Ichigo: N-Nel?

Nel: ITSUY-GOO did I tells' you dat' you gotta interview da' Vice-Captains too?

Ichigo: What? No! Not until now!

Nel: -embraces Ichigo- Wells' you gotta b' caus' four-eyes says so!

Ichigo: Four eyes?

Nel: Yeah, heres da' paper!

Ichigo: -a white piece of paper is shoved rudely into his face- What? I thought I only had to interview the captains…

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I next plan to do an interiew of the vice-captains, so... stay tuned!


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